Lexxy Fancypants

( Personal stuff, mental health trigger warning )

So yeah that's where my shit is at now. Pell got me caught up on TFP last night, which was A-FUCKING-MAZING and I am reminded all over again how much I love this show and all its craziness. I know everyone is screeching at the faction leaders but jfc can I just love all over Soundwave here? WHAT A BADASS MOFO. HNNNNGH. He may be a delicate creeper but he can fuck your shit up like swatting a fly. Fuck yeah. I have such a massive crush on him, it's stupid. XD I just want all Soundwave all the time. ALL THE TIME. :|

Also I picked up the DotM DVD so there will be icons soon, methinks. As soon as I can bear to actually watch it with an eye for good shots rather than an eye full of tears and broken hearts. I mean... No okay I did mean that.

blessyourfaceifyousneezedduringthispostblessyoupeaceoutWHUP

Dinner last night was amazing.

Roasted duck (half a lemon inside the cavity, along with a few sprigs of fresh thyme, covered at 375F for 2.5hrs then uncovered for .5hrs, drizzled honey on when uncovered) with quartered potatoes, vidalia onion, and beets in the drippings
Rice mix with quinoa (SO GOOD)
Asparagus (sliced, in a pan with 1/2c water which is then boiled off) with butter (melted with dried cranberries and sliced almonds)
Gravy (from a mix, I admit it, the Better Than Gravy brand)

My friends, I am not ashamed to say that I stuffed my face. And then some. And then I stuck the carcass under the broiler so that when I make stock out of it, it will be EVEN MORE DELICIOUS. And I'm gonna collect as much of the fat as possible for future bacon replacement. This bird's life was well-given. The only thing I didn't use was the internal organs, because I just did not have the energy. The neck is going into the stock. :3

IN OTHER NEWS: the TFP soundtrack is amazing. I'm not linking that on the TFP comm because apparently the composer got a takedown from Hasbro as soon as he put it up, but UNF I am so buying this CD the second it comes out. "RC on the Move" is amazing. I am more and more in love with TFP every day, though I'm also more and more bitter at its faults. Hm. If I objectively compare it to BW and TFA, which I love, it's not really any worse. I think I just want it to be the best it can be. And it's not, although it's still quite good. P.S. this soundtrack gives me goosebumps, no lie. D:

Hey, it's been a while since a Nostalgia post, hasn't it? She's still learning that being held is okay, and that laps are okay, and even that if she curls up by my head when I'm in bed she can watch the birds AND get petted! All at the same time! Needless to say, I spend a lot of my mornings like this:

Last night I was yawning and stretching and trying to get something from between my teeth all at the same time and I managed to jab myself in the gums and I looked at my hand like WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT and then realized I was missing a piece of my gums SO THAT WAS FUN D:

The tentacle/TF comm is amazing. I cannot even express how happy I am with it and all the beautiful members - 39! It's two days old and we have 39 members! Pell and I are wriggling with excitement because something exciting will happen when we hit 40. Oh yes. It will be amazing. This is going to be the best community ever. As evidenced by our complete professionalism.

Also that layout is amazing and gorgeous and THOSE COLORS omg I could look at them forever. We made a purty thing hurr hurr. ♥ I basically keep opening it up in a new tab and wriggling excitedly at it. I also learned a bunch of new stuff about Gimp while I was making the graphics, and picked up some lovely fonts to boot! I love fonts. I was describing the layout to my dad (no I did not tell him it was about tentaclesex, I said it was about Morphobots, which sounds like it could be a legit subset of Transformers) and I was like "and I used these incredibly pompous fonts so it's all super serious" and he just started laughing. POMPOUS FONTS: I HAS THEM. It's true though, look at the comm profile and tell me that is not a pompous font. XD

whitwinkle ahahaha why is that so funny

What you just heard was the sound of my epic boner.



Man, this right on top of Movieverse Wheeljack actually looking amazingly sexy is just - blowing my mind. Having to look at Sentinel's monkeyface all movie long is gonna hurt, and frankly Shockwave is just not up to par, but hnnnngh sexy robots.

Sooo a whole two people said they were maybe interested in a Minecraft server. :\ One of them doesn't even own the game. Oh well. It was a fun idea but I guess the Minecraft-playing circles don't really overlap with the TF-loving circles.lob4r;/ (Nostalgia says hi!)

Okay so, I have Thoughts on TFP and I wish to share them! Which shall have to wait for another day, because first I want to babble about Con Job.

( Spoilers for Con Job )

Is it sad that I keep shaking my head and wishing they'd hire on certain fanficcers as consultants? Come on guys, we can do better than this. :( I'm not even upset about it, just the same sort of vaguely sad as when I see people writing out Jazz's accent. You'll learn better one day, guys, I just wish I didn't have to see your growing pains.

Woooo I'm not married anymore! BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER. The ex called to let me know the official paperwork had arrived. I should get mine in a week or so, but if not he'll go get a certified copy for me. This is so awesome. XD

So anyway let's talk about robots! I am getting a bunch this year, probably spread out over Christmas and my birthday. I already have...
RotF Sideswipe
Universe Sunstreaker
TFA Longarm
gerwalking Starscream
Stalker Scorponok
keychains of Megatron and Optimus

All of them are my darlings. I've never played with figures this much before. XD They each have their quirks too! Optimus and Megatron are somehow perfectly molded to hold hands, I am apparently the only human being who can pose Sideswipe standing up, Sunstreaker has a secret altmode, Longarm has a quirky leg, Starscream does SCIENCE (with vanadium cations), and Scorponok is my favorite because he can eat your face.



oh god my walls are so nasty, I need to repaint so badly

( This is just an image dump of Scorponok doing handstands. It's awesome. )

I don't think I've told you all one of the cute things Nostalgia does - sometimes she'll crawl under the blankets, not to explore but to curl up against me and sleep. Usually against my leg where I can pet her, but right now she's in the tent my raised knee is making, her soft back against one foot and her paws stretched out against the other. Earlier she was licking the sole of my foot. She is unbearably cute.

She also uses my hand as a pillow whenever she can, and licks me as much as is physically possible. And she greets me at the door every single day when I come home from school. I love this cat beyond words. ♥ Even when she chews my computer charger.

Deep Thoughts: Is the gotta-pee dance universal? Most body language with a complex or specific meaning isn't universal - come-here in Japan is different than come-here in America, OK-sign can mean something good or something obscene, eye-contact as polite listening vs. avoiding eye contact as polite listening, etc. etc. But stuff like smiling is universal. So I wonder if the pee-dance is universal. DEEP THOUGHTS.

Actual Deep Thoughts: Okay so this is now totally my headcanon, no lie, I was driving home tonight and trying to see in the dark (I can't, for the record), when I realized - okay, movie!Scorponok and G1!cassettes are symbionts, right? One of their notable characteristics is forming part of their host's alt form (Scorponok becomes an engine and some other bits, the cassettes become, well, cassettes). And I realized - those big sentient cities like Metroplex? Totally symbionts. Seriously, when Primus transforms, what do they do? Transform with him. They're clearly capable of getting up and going somewhere (Autobot City, anyone?) and they're their own people, but they belong with Cybertron.

and then my brain went to interesting places about symbionts as people and their level of sentience and classes of Cybertronian people and it was amazing *_*

So last night, after finally finishing my chem lab, I said "ahhhh finally I can go to bed" and then wrote some fic.

BRAIN. WHAT WAS THAT. Then I dreamed that I wrote a whole story and just as I finished it I WOKE UP. And the story was not written. GODDAMNIT.

So in related news, the Prowl/Sunstreaker/Jazz thing is almost done. So of course there is a sequel brewing in my head, because I did Jazz an injustice here - I get so carried away in the Prowl/Sunstreaker that Jazz kinda took second stage, and that is not cool for multiple reasons. Notably: Jazz is HOT. I don't want to ruin the end of this story but basically - after the story, they all take a week to decide whether this convoluted threesome is a relationship they want to pursue. And Jazz-in-my-head is grinning like a loon, because this means "a week where he can tease them to his heart's content." There will be flirting. I am saying this in my most dire voice: there will be flirting. And they will love it. There is a kind of weird safe, sane, and consensual thing going on here - Sunstreaker is safe (I know right, but you'll see what I mean when I post it), Jazz is sane, and Prowl is consensual. Well technically they are all consensual but Prowl is the driving force of want here. This is not a dynamic I expected! And to be honest it is hard to figure out what Jazz is getting out of this. I think he is kinda hands-on voyeurism? I have no idea! Does that even make sense?!

Anyway. I am kinda enthused about this story again, which is good because it's SO FUCKING CLOSE to being done. So close. Then I need a beta because wow, is this story inconsistent. I started writing it in someone else's style and then it morphed back into my own style and Jazz's role is really baffling me and it's starting to feel repetitive but maybe that's just me... Mrrr. It would be nice to post something again. The Scorponok/Starscream fic is in the final scene too.

And if you read all that I think you need a reward. I wrote it a while ago for spacehussy and didn't post it because, well, it's not really a story. Your reward contains Starscream and Skywarp meeting, technobabble, Starscream being a bit of an asshole, Skywarp being smart and an adult, and Starscream respecting that while still being an asshole. Quantum physics are a great bonding exercise! Too bad I don't know any. ( Here you go! )

Day 6: How do you interact with readers' responses (or lack thereof)?
( All the days. )

Dealing with comments has always been hard for me. I do not take praise well, particularly unspecified praise or personal praise. For example: "you are amazing and fantastic" puts me straight into violent negation and avoidance, "this story is wonderful" puts me into less violent avoidance, and "I liked the part where ____" makes me pause and admit yes, okay, I liked that part too. My emotional responses are so strong that I get overwhelmed very easily. This doesn't mean I want to not get comments - not at all! I love knowing that people are reading and enjoying what I write, and a non-commenting reader is an invisible reader. But it does mean that I have a tendency to get very, very socially awkward and overly effusive when responding.

So, as you folks reading this probably know, I put in a policy for myself pretty recently: put in exactly what I get. If the comment is "nice story!" I say "thank you" and that is IT. Nothing else. If they specify what they liked, I can respond similarly, and oh man I have gotten some awesome friends out of the conversations that resulted. I LOVE that. And by limiting my responses elsewhere, I actually have the energy and wherewithal to be able to have those awesome conversations.

So yeah, gonna keep that up - it is working really well for me. If I keep having strong issues, I may put up a small notes on each fic asking that any potential praise be directed at the story and not at me. I know people mean well, but it is very upsetting and makes me physically sick to be told I'm awesome. My issues, let me show you them. (I am actually getting increasingly sick writing this, just thinking of all the times people have been like "L YOU ARE THE BEST EVER." I... am reasonably sure most people do not have this problem!)

***

In other news, carpal tunnel sucks but sleeping with a wrist brace on really does help. I at least have enough sensation and control to be able to type. That was getting pretty damn difficult last night. Things that your fingers do when the nerves controlling them are being squished: NOTHING! XD God I hate being organic.

And for being good and reading all of that, I shall give you a whole scene (A WHOLE SCENE!) of a thing I started writing when I was having one of those awesome post-fic conversations with Katarik: ( Read more... )