Lexxy Fancypants

Ahhhhh, it's finally the nice part of summer. It's not too hot, but there's A/C if you need it; the cat is learning that I actually know how to avoid kicking a small body in my sleep; the cicadas are humming and the sunshine is just the right kind of warm... Evrything just cries out for a lazy day in bed, reading and writing. But alas, I must go do actual useful things. Like buy bus tickets to get to and from the airport for my visit with spacehussy in TWO WEEKS OH MY GAWD.

We've never met! This is very exciting! I have been trying not to think about it too hard because man, travel is scary. Doing things on my own is scary. What's stupid about it is that the scaredness is learned behavior - when I was younger I did just fine. At a con in a new city, I'd be the one shepherding all my friends and arranging everything. Visiting Montreal, a city where everyone pretends they don't speak English, I was the one navigating the subways and memorizing the downtown layout. I've done plane trips on my own since I was knee-high. No, seriously. It's nothing new. But I'm terrified. I am horrifyingly terrified of going to the bus station to buy some tickets. Why? WHO THE HELL KNOWS. I'm gonna do it anyway though. Just like I bought the plane tickets and then pretended there was no trip because if I even thought of it in passing I started to shake. ANXIETY: AWESOME SHIT.

did you know that there's a tiny bug in cat poo that changes your behavior when it infects you? it started out making mice more likely to wander into the open because then they'd be eaten and its life cycle would continue in a new cat, but humans don't get eaten by cats so it hasn't been selected for actually causing outgoing behavior, so once we're infected we become reclusive and quiet. yes. it's a noticeable change in personality, due to something living in your body. it terrifies me. it's very likely that every cat owner has it, because we've only recognized the threat to pregnant women so far. I'm not making this up.

Ally: ... let's put it this way, it has never before been easier to shut him the hell up.
L: heeee
L: I can actually imagine him getting bored of his own voice in that situation
Ally: omg yes
L: I mean, all he can do is move his mouth
L: he can only talk so much
Ally: Which, even for him, could get boring.
L: yesss

AND THEN DIALOGUE-FIC HAPPENED. Filthy, sticky, disembodied semi-dub-con fic. I. What. I don't even. It's not my fault they keep leaving him on waist-height counters!
( Spoilers for Transformers Animated season 3, RE: Starscream. )

Feel free to guess which is the lie. Or not.

1. I am the sole inheritor of over 300 acres of land.
2. I have a deer skull named Bruce.
3. I am mortified by the idea that people like what I write; I am even more mortified by the idea that people like ME.
4. I'm married to a soldier.
5. I require at least one flowchart, a degree in psychology, and several court documents to explain my family.
6. I have multiple conditions that can't be explained by science, including visual snow, touch-taste metal-specific synesthesia, an eerie tendency towards minor precognition, and red meat intolerance.
7. I own a knitted Cthulhu hat and I put a Hello Kitty pin on it.
8. I once made a grown man run from my store and traumatized a line of customers with nothing more than the look on my face.
9. I once broke my foot by walking while it was asleep. No tripping, just walking.
10. My memory is so poor that I can't recall the topic of conversation five minutes ago, nor what I had for dinner a few hours ago, nor anything I've written pretty much ever. But I can remember an insane number of TV jingles and pop culture references, which means half my conversational ability is quoting things.

Unrelatedly:
Ally: I'm just gonna show you what I have written so far >_> needs work, ie NOT HOT ENOUGH but it's a start
L: kjugedhksjflokdhkfrjlisdeo;
L: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT HOT ENOUGH
L: IF IT GETS ANY HOTTER I WILL GET HEATSTROKE AND DIE AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT
L: I'LL HAVE THEM ENGRAVE ON MY HEADSTONE "FUCK YOU ALLY, IT WAS HOT ENOUGH TO BEGIN WITH"

L: You need to say something funny so I can post it to my new blog.
Ally: but what if it's not funny enough :< then no one will laugh, and they will judge me.
L: I judge you.
L: I judge you all the time.
Ally: I KNEW IT :<
L: Fortunately, I judge that you are AWESOME.
Ally: you and stereowire are just going to sit around and judge me, aren't you :<
L: OBJECTION
L: No.
Ally: WAIT THAT IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED THE JUDGMENT TO BE AT ALL D:
L: THE RULING STANDS