Lexxy Fancypants

Lex: oh my god I just got the most fucking disgusting taste in my mouth
Pell: sorry i put stuff in there while you were sleeping
Lex: afgrstdfyugihojk
Pell: like a penny. and. a little rock a found. and some gum. you like gum? and a little piece of lint...
Pell: was that not cool?
Lex: dude
Lex: was it spearmint
Lex: I love spearmint
Pell: :[ it was watermelon
Lex: GODDAMNIT PELL THAT IS NOT OKAY
Pell: /SOB

Oh man it's been a while since I've done one of these. As you may have noticed, I skipped the end of season 2 and the 1986 movie - because, uh, I saw these with Spacehussy in person. So there are no chatlogs. But eventually I may do a screencap bonanza or something. I'm also skipping the beginning of season 3 because I plan on doing it later. So lazy. The world cannot contain this much lazy. Also I think Spacehussy did some of the S3 episodes. Also our episodes are apparently out of order and we're avoiding Racism 101: How To Be A Huge Bag Of Dicks (aka Thief in the Night) like the plague.

S3 is awesome. It is a different show, and if you remember that and treat it like a different show instead of expecting it to be season 1 of G1, it will reward you. Like so.

( Kinda image-heavy? You know the drill. )

I stayed up all night and then spacehussy and I watched ep. 28 "Child's Play" of season 2 of G1 of Transformers and got drunk and I have to give you the highlights.

( Watching G1 drunk is the best way to watch it. )

*ahem* Dear Internet, I feel you need to know that the following thing was just said to me:

Ally: I hit that point in the scene where I wanted to rage at the internet: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE ROBOTS DOUBLE-PENETRATING ANOTHER WHILE A FOURTH ONE WATCHES.

That is all.

P.S. SHE'S REALLY GOOD AT WRITING IT ANYWAY
P.P.S. THIS SEX SCENE IS FULLY HALF OF WHAT WE HAVE WRITTEN FOR THE SKYFIRE/TRINE FIC. CAPSLOCK NECESSARY FOR GREAT AHHHHHHHHH
P.P.P.S. IT'S SO HOT OMG.
P.P.P.P.S. On a more serious note, I am gifted/tormented with horrible memory loss triggered by emotional distress. I feel much better. I know what happened, but it's very distant.

Ally: Maybe it's like-- you can still get high-ranking jobs with or without becoming Elite Guard, but it probably helps.
Ally: which means Longarm would have had to be BAD. ASS.
L: yesssss. Longarm is just that awesome.
L: Maybe the Elite Guard require background checks
Ally: drug testing
L: NO CYBERCOCAINE
Ally: CYBERCOCAINE IS A HELL OF A DRUG

reference

The writing front is going remarkably well! The thing with Jazz stalled, but the awesome thing about having a half dozen stories going is that when one stalls, my hindbrain has figured something out on another one. I just gotta poke until I know which one it is. Right now it's Disassembled, which makes me happy. In my pants. Disassembled is just that kind of fic. It needs warnings piled deep enough to drown in, but it makes me happy in my pants.

( Disassembled snippet cut for dismemberment and impalement. This is one of the nicer bits, actually. )

Oh yeah I was gonna post a bit of that Jazz thing. Totally out of context, because Sunstreaker being the subbiest sub that ever subbed kinda requires some context. I know this is lamely boring but whatever, dudes, you shoulda seen the crap I was writing before this. The second Jazz walked in it got 1000x better.

Sunstreaker looked up, and for the briefest instant Jazz looked back.

It lasted less than a nanoclick. Jazz came in as if nothing were out of the ordinary, greeting Prowl easily with a little salute of the datapad in his own hand, saying, "Hey, Prowl my mech. Got a few clicks to spare? I wanted a fresh set of optics on this thing."

"Jazz." Prowl nodded a greeting, sitting up straight to accept the datapad. "Hmm. I like the changes you've made."

"Saw the rough draft on Teletraan's systems, did you? Yeah, I wasn't happy with it either. I let Prime know I'd be changing things around a bit." Jazz settled on the edge of Prowl's desk, his back to Sunstreaker.

I am enjoying writing his dialogue. Prowl is all short, clipped facts and orders, Sunstreaker is 100% attitude, and Jazz is just like HEY MY MECH, WHAT'S UP. Also I am enjoying NOT writing the ridiculous accent some people like to force down his throat. Yes, I've heard his accent. It can be indicated with phrasing and tone. There's no need for WRITIN' LIKE THA MOS' RACIST BITCH EVER, YA DIG? ugh never write out an accent unless you want the character to be incomprehensible. PET PEEVE, I CAN HAS IT. I actually am angsting over whether to have him say "nah" at one point, but it's a word as distinct from "no" as "yeah" is from "yes." You would not believe how much time I've spent thinking about that word.

Okay I've rewritten this entry five times now, fuckit I'm posting.

My darling and I were texting and happened to mention Cliffjumper, and I pointed out that if the wiki is correct and he took over after Longarm quit (ahaha look at my non-spoileryness) that means he was not so much a secretary and more along the lines of, you know, the next in line. My darling then sent me this:

Employer: Cybertron Intelligence
Position: SIC
Job duties may include light secretarial work and accessory to murder. Knowledge of Excel a plus. Pay DOE. Please attach cover letter with resume.


I love spacehussy.

P.S. The world needs more Longarm fic. NOODLEARMS. TOUCHED BY HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE. WORKPLACE SEXUAL HARASSMENT FROM ACROSS THE ROOM. NOTHING IS SAFE FROM LONGARM'S LONG ARMS.

P.P.S. I have been writing so many haiku it is an actual effort to NOT write in haiku. This is a very strange state for a person who simply does not understand poetry. I do like Shakespeare, though, does iambic pentameter count?

me: MY TEACHER REALLY IS WHEELJACK
Ally: YESSS, TELL ME OF WHEELJACK. I MEAN. YOUR TEACHER. WHATEVER.
me: AHAHAHA
well are you familiar with sodium
wait no let me back up
Ally: ahahahah
me: Yesterday he said, "Hey, it's been a while since we blew anything up! Let's blow stuff up tomorrow."
Ally: omg.
me: ( I am not even paraphrasing. )

L: You need to say something funny so I can post it to my new blog.
Ally: but what if it's not funny enough :< then no one will laugh, and they will judge me.
L: I judge you.
L: I judge you all the time.
Ally: I KNEW IT :<
L: Fortunately, I judge that you are AWESOME.
Ally: you and stereowire are just going to sit around and judge me, aren't you :<
L: OBJECTION
L: No.
Ally: WAIT THAT IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED THE JUDGMENT TO BE AT ALL D:
L: THE RULING STANDS