Lexxy Fancypants

WHY AM I WRITING THIS INSTEAD OF, IDK, STUDYING OR WRITING REPORTS

THOSE MIGHT BE KINDA IMPORTANT, RIGHT

( WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ANYWAY )

So last night, after finally finishing my chem lab, I said "ahhhh finally I can go to bed" and then wrote some fic.

BRAIN. WHAT WAS THAT. Then I dreamed that I wrote a whole story and just as I finished it I WOKE UP. And the story was not written. GODDAMNIT.

So in related news, the Prowl/Sunstreaker/Jazz thing is almost done. So of course there is a sequel brewing in my head, because I did Jazz an injustice here - I get so carried away in the Prowl/Sunstreaker that Jazz kinda took second stage, and that is not cool for multiple reasons. Notably: Jazz is HOT. I don't want to ruin the end of this story but basically - after the story, they all take a week to decide whether this convoluted threesome is a relationship they want to pursue. And Jazz-in-my-head is grinning like a loon, because this means "a week where he can tease them to his heart's content." There will be flirting. I am saying this in my most dire voice: there will be flirting. And they will love it. There is a kind of weird safe, sane, and consensual thing going on here - Sunstreaker is safe (I know right, but you'll see what I mean when I post it), Jazz is sane, and Prowl is consensual. Well technically they are all consensual but Prowl is the driving force of want here. This is not a dynamic I expected! And to be honest it is hard to figure out what Jazz is getting out of this. I think he is kinda hands-on voyeurism? I have no idea! Does that even make sense?!

Anyway. I am kinda enthused about this story again, which is good because it's SO FUCKING CLOSE to being done. So close. Then I need a beta because wow, is this story inconsistent. I started writing it in someone else's style and then it morphed back into my own style and Jazz's role is really baffling me and it's starting to feel repetitive but maybe that's just me... Mrrr. It would be nice to post something again. The Scorponok/Starscream fic is in the final scene too.

And if you read all that I think you need a reward. I wrote it a while ago for spacehussy and didn't post it because, well, it's not really a story. Your reward contains Starscream and Skywarp meeting, technobabble, Starscream being a bit of an asshole, Skywarp being smart and an adult, and Starscream respecting that while still being an asshole. Quantum physics are a great bonding exercise! Too bad I don't know any. ( Here you go! )

So, I talk to my family about fannish stuff. They know I write fanfic, they know I write slash, they know I'm really into giant robots and have probably figured out I write giant robot slash. It's cool. We don't really talk about the slash part because they just don't get it, but I do talk about my writing. I told Dad a lot about this last story, and I was telling him today about the reader reactions I've been getting, and he asked if he could read it. So... I said yes. He won't get it, I think, because fanfic only works because of our shared backgrounds and knowledge. We know who Sideswipe is, we care about him, we know he's somehow brother/twin to Sunstreaker. We love the Elite Trine and their back-handed affection. We know who the missing jet is and why it hurts so much that he's gone. We know that Prowl is the logical officer who doesn't do well with interpersonal relationships. An outsider, a non-fan, does not know these things. There's your big divide, the reason we're mocked when an outsider reads a fic. They don't get it, can't get it, because they don't have that established setting.

So... I know Dad won't get why it's a powerful story. He won't feel sad. He's not emotionally invested in these people - he has no reason to be. But that's okay.

In completely unrelated news, Velocisquirrel is back! She's in good shape and just as fearless as ever. Nostalgia has never met her before, so this was very exciting! Velocisquirrel is the only squirrel that can jump onto my windowsill and eat the seeds I scatter there. Nostalgia always, always pounces at the window when any bird lands there. I didn't get video of her repeated and incessant pouncing, but I did get her utter confusion:

I think tonight I am going to get high on cold meds and watch Rodimus' acid trip sequence. This seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do with my evening.

Anyway I wrote a thing. Should I put it up on the writing account? I'm too loopy to judge right now, so yes, that's a serious question. XD Yeah, I wrote this instead of any of my lab reports. Apparently all that talk about bebbeh!rulers in my prompt post got me thinking about stuff.

No babies, real or fictional, were involved in the making of this story.

blah blah no title, rated PG for good measure, Cybertronian reproduction blah blah no warnings blah Bayverse. Blah.

( Read more... )

The good: Someone sent me a PM asking about my ancient Saiyuki fics, and it turns out I'm sitting on a rec list in a BNF's LJ! (CAN I FIT ANY MORE ACRONYMS IN THERE I THINK NOT) I am kinda thrilled by this even though they rec'd the WORST of my stories. Seriously. But it was awesome that someone put in so much effort to hunt them down - the links point to my defunct LJ and IJ accounts, and the person asking had clearly checked DW, so I pointed them over to FF.net. I HAVE TOO MANY ACCOUNTS. I almost feel bad about that. But I uploaded a whole new one for hir, so I feel less bad. XD

The bad: Nostalgia is starting to knuckle. That is, she can't feel her back right leg very well, and she now stands on the top of her foot sometimes. She hasn't tried to walk like that, though, which is good. I keep starting to panic and then reminding myself that paralysis is not a big deal. She's got good function in the other leg (I checked: she responds to pinches on her footpads almost right away on the left foot, about when I would react if someone pinched my feet, but it takes a very, very hard pinch to get a reaction from the right foot) and she still has perfect litterbox manners. Even if she needs fucking diapers, I will love this cat. I don't care. She's Nostalgia. However: having sensation in one leg and not the other, even if the good leg is a bit limited, does not really sound spinal to me. Seriously cannot wait to get those x-rays. Self: paralysis is not a big deal. You have already anticipated this turn of events.

The ugly: I fucking hate money. ಠ_ಠ

( I feel bad making huge posts about my cat. I mean, who cares about someone else's cat? Seriously. I'm like Hughes shoving pictures in everyone's faces. )

In other news, I'm writing movieverse Scorponok/Starscream and I totally blame pellimusprime for all of it. It's ridiculously fun but also difficult - I'm keeping Scorponok's intelligence, intent, and sentience ambiguous. I'm debating whether to write the actual Scorponok/Starscream bit, or whether to leave it at adorable hilarious stalking/poking. I'm thinking I will leave it cute and relatively innocent. I can save Scorponok sexy times for another fic. :3 He's so challenging! I kinda love it. A lot. He's just so darn fun to write, oh my gosh. I mean, just look at this:

Blackout looked at him, dangling by his tail from the ceiling-cables, and made a sound a bit like a stifled laugh. For once they were of a level with each other. Scorponok waved a claw hesitantly, setting himself swinging again.

"This is getting absurd," Blackout told him, but he was gentle as he untangled the cables and afterwards he let Scorponok ride on his rotor-mount, so he probably wasn't serious about it.

PFFFFT SCORPONOK, HOW ARE YOU SO CUTE?

So jealous of everyone at Botcon. :( Say hi to Ravage for me! And wave. You must wave. Wave I tell you.

I am pleased to announce that I figured out what I'm doing for the kinky Prime prompt! I know, you care so much, but people. I am writing him with Red Alert. It is going to be so hot.

( no seriously, so hot )

Soooooo yeah anyway. It's been a rough week. Imagining Optimus Prime's voice dirty talking helps. I'm slightly mortified - dirty talking is so not a kink of mine that it is in fact usually a squick! But these two, they are communicating their wants so well, and they're also making a very nice distinction between fantasy and reality, and I am getting as many smoking-hot kinks in there as I can. Dirty talk, size/scale-kink, fantasizing, fisting, gangbang, voyeurism, exhibitionism, restraints, multiple partners, and of course actual communication between partners. There's another thing I don't know how to quantify - Optimus will be getting most of his pleasure from fulfilling his partner's desires, but not in a subservient role - it's more "ooh, yes, I like that idea." I'm doing my best to keep the power between them equal - ideally neither will be more dominant than the other, overall, though if anything Red Alert is the leading partner. Buuuuuut this is only a prompt response, not a full fic, so I know that 1. I will not be able to devote much attention to any of these things and 2. I am going to fail horribly in some way. My hope is that by attempting to show a healthy, balanced, kinky relationship, I will at least fail better. Also I am purposefully ignoring the authority power balance here because AUUUUGH that is not what I want to do here! I do not want to deal with that! I know I should but seriously that is a whole other bucket of worms, it does not really fit into my short happy fun sexy times fic. Some other time, I will deal with those issues. If I ever write Prowl any porn (SORRY PROWL) I will DEFINITELY address that. He would demand it. Oh, Prowl, this is why I don't write you sex scenes. You're so honest and awesome and would never interface anyone under you. Or above you, for fear of - what's the word, nepotism? That doesn't sound right, but you know what I mean. Poor Prowl.

This entry totally ran away from me so uh. Gonna wrap that up now. I hope that prompt turns out as well as I want it to. I'm kinda scared of it now. But! I cannot get better unless I try! FAIL BETTER, L.

*ahem* Dear Internet, I feel you need to know that the following thing was just said to me:

Ally: I hit that point in the scene where I wanted to rage at the internet: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE ROBOTS DOUBLE-PENETRATING ANOTHER WHILE A FOURTH ONE WATCHES.

That is all.

P.S. SHE'S REALLY GOOD AT WRITING IT ANYWAY
P.P.S. THIS SEX SCENE IS FULLY HALF OF WHAT WE HAVE WRITTEN FOR THE SKYFIRE/TRINE FIC. CAPSLOCK NECESSARY FOR GREAT AHHHHHHHHH
P.P.P.S. IT'S SO HOT OMG.
P.P.P.P.S. On a more serious note, I am gifted/tormented with horrible memory loss triggered by emotional distress. I feel much better. I know what happened, but it's very distant.

Previously, I posted a false start to a TFA story in which it is a very long time ago, Megatron holds a position of power on Cybertron but is beginning his rebellion, and Shockwave is a drone which has gained more-than-usual intelligence through a combination of time (A LOT of time) and Megatron's intervention. Here's a better bit - from the middle somewhere, but hopefully it will fit into the final product. I rather like it. It needs improvement (i.e. something between the dialogue like, oh, DESCRIPTIONS) but mmmm I love the tone of it.

This scene picks up just as Starscream has introduced himself with an offer of information to ingratiate himself with Megatron.

( Read more... )

Ally: Maybe it's like-- you can still get high-ranking jobs with or without becoming Elite Guard, but it probably helps.
Ally: which means Longarm would have had to be BAD. ASS.
L: yesssss. Longarm is just that awesome.
L: Maybe the Elite Guard require background checks
Ally: drug testing
L: NO CYBERCOCAINE
Ally: CYBERCOCAINE IS A HELL OF A DRUG

reference

The writing front is going remarkably well! The thing with Jazz stalled, but the awesome thing about having a half dozen stories going is that when one stalls, my hindbrain has figured something out on another one. I just gotta poke until I know which one it is. Right now it's Disassembled, which makes me happy. In my pants. Disassembled is just that kind of fic. It needs warnings piled deep enough to drown in, but it makes me happy in my pants.

( Disassembled snippet cut for dismemberment and impalement. This is one of the nicer bits, actually. )

Oh yeah I was gonna post a bit of that Jazz thing. Totally out of context, because Sunstreaker being the subbiest sub that ever subbed kinda requires some context. I know this is lamely boring but whatever, dudes, you shoulda seen the crap I was writing before this. The second Jazz walked in it got 1000x better.

Sunstreaker looked up, and for the briefest instant Jazz looked back.

It lasted less than a nanoclick. Jazz came in as if nothing were out of the ordinary, greeting Prowl easily with a little salute of the datapad in his own hand, saying, "Hey, Prowl my mech. Got a few clicks to spare? I wanted a fresh set of optics on this thing."

"Jazz." Prowl nodded a greeting, sitting up straight to accept the datapad. "Hmm. I like the changes you've made."

"Saw the rough draft on Teletraan's systems, did you? Yeah, I wasn't happy with it either. I let Prime know I'd be changing things around a bit." Jazz settled on the edge of Prowl's desk, his back to Sunstreaker.

I am enjoying writing his dialogue. Prowl is all short, clipped facts and orders, Sunstreaker is 100% attitude, and Jazz is just like HEY MY MECH, WHAT'S UP. Also I am enjoying NOT writing the ridiculous accent some people like to force down his throat. Yes, I've heard his accent. It can be indicated with phrasing and tone. There's no need for WRITIN' LIKE THA MOS' RACIST BITCH EVER, YA DIG? ugh never write out an accent unless you want the character to be incomprehensible. PET PEEVE, I CAN HAS IT. I actually am angsting over whether to have him say "nah" at one point, but it's a word as distinct from "no" as "yeah" is from "yes." You would not believe how much time I've spent thinking about that word.

Okay I've rewritten this entry five times now, fuckit I'm posting.